


how to not hang on; a tutorial by merlin emrys

by sunnithesunflower



Series: The Ever-growing Book Of Merthur [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Cliffhangers, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't know why the hell I decided to write angst at 1 am but here ya go, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Language, No beta we die like illiterates, Swearing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26752426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnithesunflower/pseuds/sunnithesunflower
Summary: Merlin is terrible at holding onto cliffs and Arthur has to save him.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: The Ever-growing Book Of Merthur [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916428
Comments: 8
Kudos: 111





	how to not hang on; a tutorial by merlin emrys

**Author's Note:**

> it's 1 am and I have no idea why I wrote this. It's probably terrible but what you do expect from me at 1 in the morning.
> 
> Anyways a bunch of angst in here so sorry my dudes :)
> 
> goodnight for now!

_"Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare."_

"Arthur-" 

"No."

"But-"

"Merlin Emrys, if you _dare_ let go of that rope, or if you even _think_ about letting go, I am going to _kill you._ "

Merlin sighed in resignation as his hands started slipping and he tried to grip the rope harder, hanging over a cliff, knowing that if he'd let go, the dark abyss would welcome him. His hands burned and ached as cuts littered his face, with sweat dripping down his forehead as he used all his remaining strength to keep from falling into the darkness below.

"You just bloody stay there. Don't you dare leave me now. Not now." Arthur says using his fury to hide his pain and fear.

Merlin swallowed, not knowing what to say. His hands slipped once more and he let out a small gasp. 

"Merlin!" Arthur called out worriedly, as he looked over the cliff, meeting his best friend's eyes as the ravenette looked up.

"I'm..I'm alright." Merlin croaked out, his voice shaking with fear. Arthur had never heard him this scared. He had never heard him with that level of fear in his voice. He hated it. 

"Just.. just hold on, okay? Please hold on." Arthur said-no, he practically _begged_ , and _pleaded_ with all his strength for Merlin to hold on. To just stay on for a little longer. Just long enough for Arthur to save him. Just long enough for everything to be alright.

Which, of course, it wasn't.

"Arthur…" Merlin started, his voice low as he met the blond's eyes up above, hugging on the rope for as long as he could. So he could get the words out. "Arthur… I… I need to tell you something. Something important."

Before Merlin could an idea formed within Arthur's head. A desperate thought. 

"Merlin?" Arthur asked, without the intention of actually letting the warlock answer as he continued, "I have an idea…" he trails off, sounding skeptical and cautious as if what he's about to say is an insane idea. Especially from the King of Camelot no less. 

"What is it?"

"It… it's…it involves magic. Your magic. You using magic, to be more specific."

Merlin stiffens as he hears that. "So… your not-?"

They share a look and that's all Merlin needs in order to soften and relax, as he looks at Arthur again with such love and admiration in his eyes. 

"So… what about it?"

"The magic?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Merlin's eyes dim considerably and he purses his lips together into a thin line, clearly knowing something Arthur didn't.

"I can't." He says after a stretched out pause. Arthur merely stares at him and another silence is born as they simply look at each other, not always needing verbal communication between the two of them.

"What do you mean you can't?" Arthur says, exasperated. His voice sounds strained and he barely tries to keep a calm and collected facade on.

"I mean that I just _can't_. My magic is too weak. You saw what happened. I used the last of it to-" Merlin stops talking abruptly as a rather dark look crosses the King's face.

_You used the last of it to save me._ Arthur thought bitterly. The stupid self-sacrificing fool had gone and used it all up, leaving none for him to save himself. _Idiot._

Sadness bubbled within him as he tried to think of a world without him. Without _Merlin_. Arthur couldn't do it. Snapping back to the real world, a surge of determination ran through him as he held the rope between his hands tightly, trying to pull him up. He couldn't have a world without Merlin. He wouldn't. 

"Arthur. Stop. You're straining yourself."

"No, Merlin. No, I am not. And I will not." Arthur grunts before continuing to pull him up. But luck was not on their side.

Arthur tripped on a stray rock that was oh so cleverly hidden in plain sight and was pulled backwards. All his progress was lost as he leaned over the edge meticulously, watching Merlin hanging onto the rope below. 

_Oh gods._

"Arthur… if this is it, if this is truly the end then… then I want you to know something." Merlin expressed, his voice cracking as he swallowed nervously, looking back into Arthur's azure blue eyes for the last time. 

Arthur said nothing. His heart hammered inside his chest as his eyes locked onto Merlin's face hoping this wasn't the last time he would see him, hoping that this wasn't true and it was all a dream. Then he'd wake up and Merlin would be there wearing that dopey smile he so normally did during mornings while pulling open his curtains and saying a ridiculous catchphrase to Arthur.

There wasn't enough time. 

Merlin gulped once more before he spoke, his voice shaking. "I love you. I bloody love you, Arthur Pendragon. So much. And… and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you about my magic earlier. But I know, I just _know_ with all my heart that _you_ will be the greatest king that Camelot knows. You are destined for great things and I'm just happy to have been a part of it. I'm happy to know that I was there. Happy to have contributed to such a good cause. Because, by the gods, I just bloody fricking love you so goddamn much. Don't go forgetting that, you clotpole." His voice is fierce and passionate with undertones of desperation as tears threaten to fall down his face, which never wavers from Arthur's own.

The rope slipped between their hands once again. It would only take a bare minimum of five seconds and Merlin would be lost. Lost to the abyss.

Arthur gaped at the warlock, surprised. "And I guess... if it's my last chance to say it… Merlin Emrys, I…" 

Arthur took in a deep breath. "I love you." He whispered softly, the words only for Merlin to hear, despite the fact that they were alone. 

The ravenette let out a choked sob, his hand reaching out for Arthur's. To touch him one last time. But the sorcerer's hands grasped only air and Merlin let go.

_He was gone._

Arthur fell to his knees as he watched the spot Merlin had been, trying to come to terms with what had just happened.

Merlin was _gone._

And Arthur couldn't get him back.

_He couldn't get him back._


End file.
